> Subject: Math Prof
>
> A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
>
> Dear Wife:
> You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain
needs
> which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy
with you as
> a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended
to know that
> by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand
Hotel with my
> 18-year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
> --Your Husband
>
> When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting
for him
> that read as follows:
>
> Dear Husband:
> You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will
> be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool boy.
Since you are a
> mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more
times than 54
> goes into 18.
> Therefore don't wait up.
> --Your Wife
"And what do you two think you are doing?!" roared
the husband, as he came upon his wife in bed with another man.
The wife turned and smiled at her companion.
"See?" she said. "I told you he was stupid!"
There was once a pastor who happened to be a golf fanatic.
One particular Sunday morning, he decided that it was so golf-perfect
outside that he called in sick and took off to the golf course.
This did not go unnoticed by the angel Gabriel and he promptly
notified St. Peter of the transgression. St. Peter agreed that
this was indeed a serious offense and that it must be punished.
The pastor came to a short par 3, and promptly hit a hole-in-one.
Gabriel asked St. Peter- "I thought you were going to punish
him!! Instead, you granted him a hole-in-one, his life's dream!!"
"Ahhh," replied St. Peter, "but who is he going
to be able to tell??"
Seems George was playing his usual eighteen holes on Saturday
afternoon. Teeing off from the 17th, he sliced into the rough
over near the edge of the fairway. Just as he was about to chip
out, he noticed a long funeral procession going past on a nearby
street. Reverently, George removed his hat and stood at attention
until the procession had passed. Then he continued his game, finishing
with a birdie on the eighteenth. Later, at the clubhouse, a fellow
golfer greet George.
"Say, that was a nice gesture you made today, George.
"What do you mean?" asked George.
"Well, it was nice of you to take off your cap and stand
respectfully when that funeral went by," the friend replied.
"Oh, yes," said George. "Well, we were married
22 years, you know."
An elderly woman opened her refrigerator one day and found
a little bunny rabbit sitting inside.
"What do you think you're doing in my refrigerator?"
she demanded.
"This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" replied the rabbit.
"Yeah; so what?"
"I'm just westing."
A toast to the kisses you've snatched and vice-versa.
1 1 was a race-horse, 2 2 was 1 2. When 1 1 1 1 race, 2 2 1 1 2.
"You ought to see a psychiatrist," he reminded me.
"Your embroidery is sloppy," she needled cruelly.
Last Modified: May 5th, 1998
Patri Friedman / patri@izzy.com